wrap it up

I will soon be wrapping up my break....countdown to classes=1 week. I'm taking some things back to Florence tomorrow and then heading to Charlotte, NC for a quick vacation over the weekend. It will be the last hooray of this Christmas break. I guess I'm ready to be back at school and in a routine, but not ready for classes quite yet.

It was a wonderful break with lots of relaxing down-time, time to see friends and family, and time to reflect on the past year. I love the time of New Years where although nothing monumental changes, I can feel a change in the air around me. I am not one for New Years resolutions at all because I feel if you want to change something about yourself, do it when you want/need to, not just because there is now a new number on the calendar. Something I've noticed over the break is rustling in me to change something about myself.

I want to strive to be more aware of those around me, AND a better listener.

The first part of this thought stems from something that happened at one of my family Christmases. My grandmother got a new, beautiful, white coat from my grandad for Christmas. They were both very proud of it, and Gram couldn't wait to show it off. She wore it on the 26th when we went to Madison for Christmas. Of course, when we got there we took of our coats and put them in a room, but everyone had a chance to see them. We we got back in the car to leave, the first thing Pop asked Gram was, "What did they think of your coat?" Gram simply said no one had said anything about it. For some reason this made me sad because she had been SO proud of her new gift.

This made me start thinking, how often do I let things just slide by my eyes or ears. It was a beautiful coat, worthy of being complimented whether someone knew if it was new or not. I think our unawareness often comes from being too wrapped up in our own lives to notices things in others'. I want to be aware to notice people's feelings too. There is a lot we can tell just by people's faces or their voices.

This leads to the other part of my thought...being a better listener. This one is actually funny because I pride myself on being the world's BEST listener. I come from a family of talkers, and I have some of the loudest/most talkative friends in the world. I was always okay with being the quiet one so I did a lot of listening. Recently, though, I've realized some of my listening isn't listening at all. I act like I am, but I'm actually daydreaming and not listening at all. Which leads to....the simple head nod and "uh huh." Oops.

I want to do better on my listening because noticing this about myself makes me think that there are probably some important people in my life who don't listen to me as much as I would like. There were several times over the break where this was clearly happening, so I bottled up. I'm not going to carry on a conversation with someone who isn't really contributing. But...there was also one conversation where a lot of focus was placed on listening. A conversation with my best friend that lasted until 4:00 in the morning where we took turns sharing our life from the past year with each other and offering advice when needed. It was so very refreshing. Someone honestly listening to me, and me to them. I want more conversations like this one in my life, and I'm going to be the one to make them happen.

As I heard in church this past weekend, the top 9 most common New Years resolutions are focused on what people can do for/change about ME.
These are the things I want to do for others in my life...awareness and listening. It may be hard, but I'm going to work hard.

xoxo, Maria

break

It's been far too long...my apologies. Christmas Break has been exactly that...a break. A break from my normal routine life at school, a break from homework and studying, a break from waking up early. It's been so great to be home. To be able to sit around reading or working a puzzle with my mom. I haven't really done anything exciting yet, but that's okay with me. For once in my life, I don't know what each day holds, and I like that.

I went to stay in Oxford for a night with Natalie last week. I spent a night in Fulton with friends for our second annual Christmas party. Jay came for an extended weekend visit. We celebrated my dad's 50th birthday with a big party last night. And today I went ice skating with some friends. And I've tried to restart my running career. Hahaha, that's interesting to say the least. It's been a low-key and relaxing break so far.

I honestly can't believe Christmas is 3 days away, especially with this A+ weather we've been having. It makes the bitter cold of some other days a little more bearable. Hope everyone is having a safe and fun holiday!

xoxo, Maria

nutcracker

So I'm going to follow up my bitter Christmas post with one about something I have to admit I love about Christmas time....The Nutcracker Ballet. My childhood dance studio puts it on every year, and I went home this weekend just to see it. I was in it every year until my sophomore year when weekends during the fall couldn't handle all day Saturday cross country meets, Sunday Nutcracker practice, and homework. So for the past 5 years I've just been a dedicated watcher.

This year I couldn't help but laugh at so much of it. There are so many things I could take in that I never thought about or noticed when I was in it. One simply being the fact that I could step up there and do every single dance I've been in exactly. It's timeless, and the steps only have changed slightly. But it's so fun and beautiful all at the same time. I wouldn't trade my Nutcracker memories for anything...

• The time the tree caught on fire as it grew.
• The evolution of polychinelles from Raggedy Ann dolls, to gingerbread people, to clowns.
• Begging my "dad" in the party scene to carry me offstage as we left.
• Bribing Clara before the show to give me the nut when she got to do the Nutcracker.
• When Greeting wore those gosh-awful skin-tight, candy cane body suits.
• When all the snow poured out at once instead of the light trickle.
• Watching Angels go to the wrong tree every year and then mess it all up.
• Meredith slipping and falling on the "soapy" snow as she went offstage.
• The year I was a toy and one of us stood up and collapsed to the floor because her legs were asleep from sitting for so long. I think I laughed.
• Thinking Tony was the funniest person alive when he did the Mechanical Doll dance purposely wrong.
• Getting individually sized and fitted to be the first ever to wear the new Russian costumes...custom made for us.
• When the umbrellas for Chinese were still those superrrrr old yellowish, smelly ones.
• When Gumdrops still existed.
• Watching from the wings as the male professional danced...we were always so amazed.
• The fact that I was NEVER in the fight scene. Don't know how I got away with that.
• The old costumes that the mice had...they were legit mangey fur.
• The year my grade were the Claras. Let's just say a huge fight went down. Enough said.
• And lots and lots of yelling at every practice, but we still loved it.

It's a classic. 

xoxo, Maria

the explanation

So it has been quite a while, but now that it's December I thought I would let everyone in one a little secret. For those of you who know me well, you know that I don't like Christmas. Yes, I'm aware that most people almost fall over from a heart attack after they hear this, but I'm going to attempt to explain it.

It first starts with the fact that I despise winter and cold more than anything in the world. I would rather be sitting outside in the blazing Mississippi heat swimming in my sweat than be cold. It's just not fun. And there is only so much bundling I can do before it's ridiculous, so I'd just rather spend my time complaining. And with Christmas comes very cold weather.

I've always wondered why people need to get ready for Christmas so early. Is it necessary to put your tree up around Halloween just because, well heck, Christmas will be here in a few months. Just wait people. I promise the 25 days of December gives you plenty of time to decorate and enjoy it if that's what you want.

Also, the main reason I have a problem with Christmas is people never ever remember the REASON FOR THE SEASON. Simply put, in America we really only celebrate Commercialized Christmas, not Religious Christmas. It is so frustrating to me to hear all the talk about Christmas music, and trees, and presents, and food, and lights, and SANTA. Where is Jesus in all of this? Does no one remember that the purpose of CHRISTmas is celebrating His birth???

I realize some of you know that I never believed in Santa growing up (another huge shock, I know). I understand it is a fun tradition and neat for kids, but let's be real...he isn't real. And I promise you, I turned out just fine without believing. I want to tell my mom every year that I don't want any presents, but I can't bring myself to do it. I know she loves a good tradition, and we've always done it the same way, so I just accept it. I do feel blessed to have grown up in a family that wasn't extravagant about our spending and gifts at Christmas because it isn't necessary when we don't need new things.

You may want to call me Ebeneezer like Brittney does, and I'll take it, but all I'm asking is for the focus of Christmas to be turned around for once. I might be able to enjoy all the festivities that come with Christmastime if we could first celebrate the birth of our Savior. I find that my favorite parts of the season are those related to my church.

The Christmas Eve service is probably my single most favorite night of the whole year. There is just something magical about that night and the message it provides. Leaving in darkness and silence really sets the mood that I feel we should have leading up to Christmas...anticipation of what is to come and calm focus for His birth.

So I challenge you this Christmas season so not be bitter or sinister like I may seem to be, but to turn your focus around. Remember what this holiday is here for. Reflect on His special place in your life. And put Him FIRST. It's that simple.

Enjoy this time of year
xoxo, Maria

how great...

So tonight as I was blog stalking (for lack of a better word), I came across a blog that had How Great is Our God playing in the background, and it all hit me dead on. Standing on a hill known as Vesper with the sun burning my closed eyes, I stood beside 6 or so girls, all as vulnerable as I was, and we all sang that song with every ounce of our heart. We were there to love on each other and love on our GOD. How great he is…  And with that song, summer came flooding back.

For those who don't know, I worked at Camp Lake Stephens, in Oxford this summer, and needless to say, it was probably the best experience of my life. I have never felt more blessed in an 11 week period than I did this summer.

I stood in my room a few days ago trying to explain the feeling and love I had for this summer and I found myself frustrated. Frustrated because I just couldn't get out the words to mean what I wanted them to. Frustrated because I can't ever seem to explain it where people see the full beauty and depth of what I was blessed to do this summer.

But I know frustration isn't what I should feel for those things…it should be gratefulness that I had an experience so breathtaking that it cannot be explained in simple words.

We wrote ourselves letters the seventh week of the summer that would be mailed to us later in the year, and I got mine a few weeks ago. It brought back a lot of memories and a lot of reminders that I need at this point in the year. Here is something I told myself…

"such JOY-great word for the summer. Everything brings me joy here…the kids, the staff, being in God's creation, the small things. It's so easy to get caught up in a routine I have found even at camp. That is how my school experience has been, and I want to get out of that. Push myself out of my comfort zone more often and not let that freak me out."

So here's to finding that JOY in the small things every day,

Here's to stepping out of my comfort zone,

Here's to sharing my experience without frustrations,

Here's to MY GREAT GOD.

xoxo Maria

dear sister

So as I said in one of my previous posts, last Saturday was my sister's 22nd birthday. Yes, she is getting on up there, I know...and I try to often remind her of how old she is. But she is my one and only sister, and I love her to death. So Natalie, this is dedicated to you...

So if you know my family, you know that we are ALL about family. The annual family vacation is a huge deal. My mom spends months toiling over where to go and then looking at travel books to plan our itinerary. And I am not complaining...we go on some pretty awesome trips. Some have included:

--Seattle/other surrounding cities: Where Natalie refused to sit up on a tree branch with me for a picture; insisted on taking a picture in front of every.single.Twilight.location we went to; refused to take a "jumping picture with me on the beach; and literally almost got left in Canada when we were crossing back over the border.

--New York: "to the left, to the left;" where I got stuck on the other side of the entrance to the subway and almost got left; and this was Natalie's favorite trip BY FAR because we got stuck in the airport for the night (you should ask her how sleeping in the freezing, noisy, hard baggage claim area was).

--Washington DC: where I sang "pet Fala, pet Fala, pet Fala Fala Fala Fala Fala" the whole trip. Enough said.

--Disney World (the first time): Where Natalie left me in a store and I was lost in Epcot for approx. 15 minutes; where we cried when they told us Blizzard Beach was closed so they let us in; where we DROVE to IN THE SATURN, yes the car I used to drive.

My parents also probably celebrated for weeks when I chose UNA because they would be able to spend ALL their extra time stalking both daughters instead of splitting their time between two colleges. But I wouldn't have it any other way...I miss them more than I ever thought possible some days. And for those of you who don't know, Natalie and I live about 4 feet away from each other this year. And I love it!

I had a rough time adjusting to being an only child when Natalie left home. It was just wayyyyy quieter and there wasn't ALWAYS someone around when I needed a friend. It has been the biggest blessing to once again live 2 doors down from my sister. Sure we don't always get along, but we love each other. She's there for my joys, sadness, frustration, anger, uncertainties, ideas, changes, and she helps me make it through the day a lot of times. Just knowing that my sister is right around the corner is the most comforting feeling. I really don't know how I'm going to deal with her leaving again in May, but the time will come, and we will be okay. And maybe even she'll end up in DC, and I will get to go visit and sing her her favorite song :)

My sister in a nutshell: caring, leader, compassionate, friend, listener, loud, over-achiever, hard-worker, assertive, calm, grounded, down-to-earth, sweet, and my best friend.


Here's to you Nat, I love you!!

xoxo, maria

Reunited and it feels so good...

So there isn't even a reunion yet, but I am so excited already. My two best friends in the whole entire world are coming to visit me in 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is exciting first of all because I haven't had a SINGLE friend from home come visit me since I've been in school. (and I sometimes wonder why I still love them!) But second of all exciting because it will be a pre-Thanksgiving celebration. You see, they get the whole week out for Thanksgiving when I will still be slaving in class on Monday and Tuesday, so they are coming on their first weekend off. And then we will all be home again on Wednesday for more get-togethers :)

Needless to say, I can't wait. And it will most likely be a weekend for the books...but aren't they all?? Love you two girls so much, and I really couldn't make it without yall!

To Brittney and Bess......

xoxo, Maria